Jim Carrey stated that, “depression is your body saying it’s tired of playing a character.”
November 19, 2018 during one of my infusion therapy treatments, the Physician Assistant working under my provider prescribed me a new medication. Within 3 minutes of being infused with this medication I begin to go into severe anaphylactic shock. I immediately felt nauseated, flushed and my entire body began contracting from shutting down. The patient receiving treatment next to me began to direct the nurse in the treatment room as to what was happening prepared to do what was needed. She alerted the medical team to begin administering allergic reaction protocols. I didn’t know at the time that the patient who overheard all of my conversations was an anesthesiologist. If you are familiar with medical procedures, an anesthesiologist intubates patients during a code. This was a scary moment for me, but I kept calling on my Father who art in heaven to help me.
As my body began to gradually stabilize all I could say was thank you Jesus over and over again. I looked up and there was that anesthesiologist praying in the corner for me. Later that night when I arrived at home I began to cry and asked God WHO AM I. Who am I that the enemy felt that I was a threat to him? So many times we go about in life having an IDENTITY CRISIS not knowing who we are, but having an idea of who we are. Having an identity crisis is a very subtle state of mind because one does not recognize upfront that they are under an attack. We are shaped and fashioned by our environment, culture, life experience, people who we connect to and the words spoken over our lives over the years. An IDENTITY CRISIS is a confused state of mind, a battle within oneself between the persons you have been trying to be and the person you are. This battle creates depression.
Ask yourself the question, “Who am I? I challenge you today to go back and rediscover the WHO you are. No longer shaped and fashioned according to life and people. God defines and determines who you are. You are in control of your own destiny. Take back the control out of the hands of people and circumstances. Begin the journey of rediscovering the WHO. FYI: this is not an easy process as you travel this journey, you will lose friends, family and face challenges. Guard your heart and mind. These are just destinations trying to derail you from reaching your destiny. Stay focused on what’s before you and not behind you.
This incident propelled me to rediscover the WHO I AM free from the depressions because I was under an IDENTITY CRISIS. Rediscovering yourself is not an overnight accomplishment. It is a purging of one’s state of mind from all of the perceptions you have as to who you think you are. This is a consistent journey and not a destination. A journey I welcome as I continue to discover the newness of WHO I AM. Remember if you continue to give people and things the power to define you, you will give them the right to determine what and WHO you will be. Your body will attempt to shut down, but I encourage you it will not. You will gradually stabilize!
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